There is a song that comes on the radio station I regularly listen to called, "If We're Honest" by Francesca Battistelli. It's about how we should all be more transparent and honest with each other. We shouldn't feel like we need to hide our weaknesses and struggles because of embarrassment or what have you, especially from those closest to us. Because we are all struggling and broken in some way and if we would just open up we could help each other through our brokenness. It's a very lovely song and you should definitely listen to it. Anyway, so this song comes on the radio a lot and to be honest I always cringe when it does. You know why?
Because I hate being honest.
That makes me sound like I am a compulsive liar or something, which I'm not, by the way. But, I hate opening up to people. I hate talking about things I am struggling with and I hate being vulnerable. I'm not sure why I am this way. Maybe because I am an extremely sensitive and emotional person so chances are I'll burst into tears as soon as I start opening up, and I don't want to seem like a basket case. There is absolutely no shame in being sensitive, and I am trying to teach myself that, but it's something I am very self conscious about nonetheless. I also don't like being perceived as weak, and being emotional is usually perceived as a weakness. Which is gross and the opposite of true. It is very brave, healthy, and normal to have feelings and it should not be looked down upon when people express them because we all struggle and we all feel.
God has been showing me this lately. He's also been putting on my heart that I should start writing about the things He has been teaching me. Which means opening up about my past and present struggles. It is definitely out of my comfort zone to open up about things so personal to me but I really do want to. Especially if God can use the things He is teaching me to help other people. So, hopefully as I start to get hashtag real with all of you that God will speak through me. My prayer is that He'll use my words to touch all of your hearts, especially if we are similar in our brokenness. It is worth stepping out of my bubble of comfort to let God use me and the ways He's worked in my life to work in yours. I pray through my experiences with Jesus and His relentless love for me He will reveal the relentless love He has for you too.